In a Polarized World, Practice the Art of Abundance
Good negotiators understand the power of “win-win,” of having both parties walk away with something they want.
Unfortunately, we live in a world where the search for common ground has largely been abandoned in business, in discourse, in politics and in other social interactions. My friend Matthew Ferrara framed this well in a recent post about the dangers of always having to be right at the expense of someone else.
Nowadays, we seem to believe that in order for me to win, you have to lose. Situations and people are perceived as good or bad based on whether they align with our thinking or not. And heaven forbid that we consider what the other side thinks. Witness Twitter, college campus speaker protests, cable news, etc.
It’s discouraging to say the least. We complain about this state of affairs in politics, and yet this same behavior is rampant in real estate today.
· New business models claiming to be disruptors patronize traditional brokerages as irrelevant and worthless.
· Traditional brokers demonize new models and refuse to embrace any of what they offer for fear of being treasonous.
· New competitors with major investment capital position themselves as the enlightened renaissance of real estate, even though much of their strength lies simply in telling a better story and being able to buy market share rather than earn it.
· Existing brokerages that have been raided by those newcomers allow anger and defensiveness to paralyze them until they surrender and sell in hostile takeovers.
Too many in our business are operating from a mindset of scarcity rather than abundance, forgetting that we are experiencing one of the strongest economies we’ve seen in some time and a real estate market we’d have killed for in 2010. They ignore the huge population of young people who do in fact want to own homes and who finally have jobs that will allow them to do that. They miss the point that there is plenty of good business to go around, that different consumers have different needs that will be satisfied by different models, but that they all want an exceptional, customized real estate experience, something that great agents still control.
Instead of doubling down on the strengths that got them here and on what they can influence, many brokers allow irrational anxiety or temporary setbacks to render them ineffective and then wonder why some agents may be leaving.
My friend and mentor Mike Staver often talks about the pervasive human need for Certainty (knowing what’s going to happen); Significance (feeling important to the mission); and Esteem (admiration from others based on association with a company). This is so relevant to the agent recruiting and retention conundrum that is integral to the fabric of real estate.
What leaders should be doing every day - but even more so in this environment - is loving on their agents, giving them ‘atta boys’ when they succeed, listening to them when they need to vent, adding value by helping them with mentoring and deal solutions and business resources, making it fun to come to work every day, and constantly sharing their unique story so that agents internalize it and can articulate it to their clients. In other words, making themselves and their leadership something agents can’t imagine being without!
Agents don’t stay because of competition-bashing. They stay if they believe they are valued and supported more where they are than by the other guy knocking at their door. Sure, the world isn’t perfect and some will be lured away, but if handled properly, they often return (or go elsewhere if mishandled) once they realize the grass isn’t greener. The long-term competitive advantage lies in the experience and culture you create.
Great leaders wake up each day grounded in a profound sense of opportunity rather than a place of fear. Their optimism, magnetism, progressiveness and resilience are contagious. They are visible and ‘present’ rather than behind closed doors. They see adversaries as a challenge to up their game. They don’t ignore the competition, but rather than belittling it, they educate others on the distinctions and why their own value proposition empowers their chosen tribe to be their best selves professionally and personally.
Instead of drawing a line in the sand and seeing the world as us against them, great leaders go to their strengths and adopt some of the best ideas of competitors (new or traditional) to improve their own secret sauce. Above all, those with true staying power over time are known for living this slightly adapted Maya-ism every day:
“People (agents and clients) will forget what you know or how right you think you are, but they will never forget how you make them feel.”